<TITLE>14. Par 48-51</TITLE>L-48 I'm so grateful tonight to the Lord Jesus for what He's let me do for His people. I love people. God knows that. I--I can't be with people like I want to be, because I can't be a servant of God and a servant of man at the same time. I got to spend my time... A man doesn't understand it, because he, maybe he just knows one type, one kind of love. But I'm in a room somewhere praying, trying to help him, and he thinks I ought to be out running around eating dinner with him or something. But that's different. You see? He doesn't understand it, and he will never know it, until we cross the river. And then in that... But love, real true love, I just love people.

L-49 I was a--a little old boy raised up in a home, in--in not too good a family, and--and nobody seemed to care for me. And in my own family, many of the brothers... All of them drink and smoke, and I didn't do it. And I was the black sheep of the family. When I found out that somebody really loved me, when I... Somebody let me know that Jesus loved me. And I thought, "You mean, that the very Highest of all Highest, the God of heaven loves me? Well now, if He will love me and..."
And the first time I ever prayed, I couldn't pray. You know what my first prayer was? I was a--a hunter, lived in the woods. I was going to write my prayer out on a piece of paper, and tack it on a tree in the woods. That's so that He'd... Tell Him how bad I was and maybe... I knowed He'd come down that path sometime, He would read that and would forgive me. I wrote it out on a piece of paper, and I got to thinking, "Why, they told me He was a man." And if He's a man, then He will understand as a man.

L-50 So I said--went out to the shed; it was real wet and I got a sack and knelt down on it. And I heard people say, "God talked to me." Well, I said now, "How must I... If I hold my hands like this? Or what to do? How must I do?" I didn't know how to do it. So I thought, "Well, I believe I seen a picture one time of somebody praying with their hands like this. I got my hands like this, and I said, "Dear, Sir, Mr. Jesus, I wish to speak to You just a minute. Would You come up here just a minute? I want to speak to You just a minute." I said, "I don't hear You. Where are You at?" I said, "Maybe, I didn't hold my hands right." And I said, "Maybe I'll cross my hands." I said, "Mr. Jesus, if I don't cross my hands right or whatever I'm doing wrong, You forgive me, I don't mean to do it in the wrong way; but will You come here just a minute, I want to talk to you just a little bit." But I said, "I don't hear You, Sir."

L-51 Now, that's how much I knowed about God. But right there, when I loved Him... And I said, "You know what, I've been so mean that He won't even talk to me." And I said, "I guess I'm lost for good then." And I started crying. I said, "Well, Sir, I--I'm going to--I'm going to confess my sins anyhow." I said, "I'm no good. And," I said, "You are all good. But when I was dying there in the hospital, I told You I would talk it over with You, this is all I can do."
About that time a light circled across, and a cross come on the wall. My sins left. When love had been projected, sovereign grace took its place. It answered. It's really love. That's all you have to do. "Love the Lord with all thy heart, with all thy mind, with all thy strength." It'll work in a human, it'll...


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